Donut Synchronicity

I want to tell you a story. I may have tried to tell someone before but they did not understand. I don’t know if you will understand either, I am not sure it is relatable. Several months ago, at a time when I was less than stable I began to encounter a synchronicity of donuts. It started out with me getting into the habit of getting a donut each time I went to the gas station. Then someone brought me a gift, a box of donuts. I was at the store and I was compulsively drawn to purchase a little car called the donut drifter. I went to parties and there amongst a buffet of Mexican food there was a small plate of donuts. When I went online I saw donuts, sometimes just the word and sometimes images, all without searching for it.

Then one day I went to the gas station and they were out of donuts. We went across the street to a pet store and there in the dog toys I saw the brand name “goughnuts.” I started to think that my higher self was literally telling me to “go nuts.” I mean since I felt unstable anyway and I had been trying really hard to keep my cool, maybe it was time to just let loose. Still I did not follow this calling. I stifled it. Maybe that is why six months later I found myself in the ward.

Love Loving Love

Up, down, and all around. Is it my ego creating this wheel? How can it be when I am aware that ego is insubstantial? Like a mirage in the desert. If I place no importance to it, if I think that it is merely an appearance in a world of appearances, why am I still on this ride?

Yes, as you can see I have elevated and now my Ferris wheel resides in the clouds. Up or down no longer matter much. Regardless I am flying high. All because of a prodigious moment where everything aligned and I glimpsed into the elephant’s ear and had this ecstatic insight into the nature of reality.

I see what I am and knowing who I am, I know who you are. It seems like such a brazen statement. Even in the knowing there is unknowing. We are the unexpected guest. You don’t know what she will do. Does she want to borrow a cup of sugar or sit down and drink some coffee. Has there been an emergency? Is it like the time when my neighbor came over to cry and reveal that her husband was terminally ill? No. This is not a story from the past. This is an excuse to tell you a story.

But it is no mistake. How could it be? Even if it was a mistake it would be perfect. It would be needed. You might ask what I have been consuming in order to draw these conclusions. I would love to tell you but it is such a long story. My favorite book when I was in second grade was Charlotte’s Web. I also really loved Shel Silverstein books. Books have contributed a lot to my mind. Music has been a real factor. This morning I was listening to Tom Petty. Thirty years ago I loved Pearl Jam and Radiohead. Television reruns. What about all the teachers that I have known. I’ve been designed to have this output.

In this dream, in this lucid lucid dream, there is no need to preach and there is no one to preach to. I guess I just want to say that I don’t have to go anywhere, achieve or acquire anything, in order to be happy knowing that I am love loving love.