This post may be totally like a diary entry. It’s 8:30pm, the day after valentine’s.
I don’t know if it’s just paranoia but lately I am totally sick of peoples supposed concern over my mental health. Last Saturday I went to an Astrology Workshop learning about lunar nodes, my favorite! My north node is in Libra in the 11th house while my south node is in the 5th house in Aries. This probably holds a lot of meaning, not the least of which is that I belong in groups. I may talk about astrology more in a future post, it is one of my favorite topics.
What irritated me is that later, when I was at a Galentine’s Party, I received a text from my good friend V who was also at the workshop. She said she was concerned that I was drinking too much cafffiene and not allowing my medications to work on my bipolar. She said my eyes were bloodshot and that I was fidgeting a lot. So now in addition to the guilt trip over my love for coffee and all things caffiene, I feel self conscious about my appearance.
This is not the first of friends or family members to demonstrate recent concern. I am completely aware that I am hypomanic and that it is getting in the danger zone. I guess I am just easily irritable. I told her I was tired of people trying to run my life. I felt like much of my good feelings for the party i was at were ruined. I even left early.